Star Souperz
A shot of a large, flat electronic screen like what would be used in a television set, only more advanced technologically. On it appears to be coverage of a breaking news story as a young reporter talks calmly to the screen.

REPORTER: The attack on the galactically-protected reserve was sudden, viscious, and precise. From what I’ve been able to gather, the target was a young woman named Cadney Nyuushin--

The screen is filled with a photo of a pretty blonde girl looking to be around 17 years of age. She has pointy ears and a cocky grin on her face.

REPORTER: (cont.)--who seems to have been abducted in the chaos.

Scene changes to an empty bar with the bartender, a young man with dark hair, watches the screen with concern but not surprise as he polishes a glass with the name "Cadney" etched into the side.

REPORTER: Nyuushin is the leader of a small organization named.... (she looks incredulous) The Star Souperz?

Photos of four more people appear on the screen: a woman with long, straight brown hair, a serene smile and a flower; a man whose hair has two black stripes running through it and a seductive smile on his handsome face; a woman with short brown hair, pinpoit pupils, and a bloodthirsy, crazed look to her; and a pleasant-looking man with pointed ears, shoulder-length hair, and a sweet look on his face. Their respective names appear on each photo: Vin, Lemon Oishii, Tray Kigakuruu, and Shyke Okama.

REPORTER: This group has recieved recent noteriety at their foiling of a plot to overthrow the Vetonian Government by the terrorist known simply as "The Stump".

Shot of a darkened room lit dimly by the flickering of a small television screen. A dark figure lacking in arms or legs sits behind a desk and watches the screen, his bandaged face disgusted. He smashes his head onto the remote and the screen goes blank.

REPORTER: Eyewitnesses say that the ship seen today bore no resemblance to the one confiscated by the GBI in the aftermath of the Vetonian Incident, however "The Stump" remains at the top of the suspects list.

Shot of another dark room with a shadowy figure with spiked hair sillouhetted against a large window with a view of the stars outside. The figure faces the window with his hands behind his back, listening to the report from the television. Extreme closeup profile shot of his smile at the words "however ‘The Stump’ remains at the top of the suspects list".

REPORTER: We have a report that Nyuushin’s own people may have already mounted a rescue effort, but at this time we can neither confirm or deny. Back to you, Buuke.

Shot of new reporter.

BUUKE: Thanks, Seenh. Boy, those kidnappers’d better watch out, those Souperz people are being hailed by the Meridians as the most elite fighting force since the introduction of the RHADL army twenty-five years ago. High praise indeed.

Cut to new scene.

Int. of Lucius’s ship. A darkened corridor. Two figures, VIN and LEMON walk one behind the other. Lemon is talking, while Vin is trying to be quiet.

LEMON: ...Not to imply you’re ugly, of course, you have potential. But really, would it kill you to wear some makeup, maybe trim your hair a little?

VIN: (getting very annoyed) For the last time, shut up. If we get caught because of you, I’ll...

A pause as she falters for an appropriate threat. He looks at her inquisitively.

LEMON: You’ll what?

VIN: Just shut up.

They again proceed down the hallway for a short distance, this time in silence, until Lemon pauses and looks thoughtful.

LEMON: I just don’t see why you’re so afraid of looking a little nice once in a while. I mean really, what’s the worst that coul--

He cuts off abruptly as Vin spins around, grabs him by the collar, drags him up to the closest door, opens it, tosses him in, and closes it again.

VIN: I am not babysitting you anymore!! (storms off)

Int. the room.

LEMON: (pounding on the door) Vin!! Vin, come on, that was totally childish, open the door. (Realizes she’s no longer there, sighs, turns around and leans against the door. Stops dead when he notices the other occupants of the room, a large group of teenage girls.)

Lemon POV of girls

GIRLS: (stare at him)

LEMON: (to self, under breath) Oh no....

GIRL #1: (eyes go starry) KAWAII!!!

GIRL #2: SUGOI!!

LEMON: (still to self, in horror) Fangirls!

Girls rush at him as he cowers in terror. End scene.

Int. of Cadney’s ship. A room with clothing, porn magazines, and lingerie ads strewn on the floor, posters of girls in bikinis and a calendar of expensive cars on the walls, and an unmade bed with a young boy, RHADL, looking to be about eight or nine years old sits reading a porn mag and smoking a cigarette. All we see of him are his legs and feet sticking out from beneath the magazine, his hands holding it, and some smoke wafting up above the pages. The door chimes.

RHADL: What??

The door opens, revealing a happy-looking SHYKE carrying a tray with a steaming bowl of soup on top of it.

SHYKE: Just thought I’d bring you some lunch. (Looks down at the floor for some sort of path to the bed. Finds none, much to his vexation, so steps gingerly on and over the mess.)

RHADL: (still reading) Whatever.

SHYKE: (considers the boy for a moment in disapproval) You know, a little gratitude every once in a while would be nice. We did save your life, after all, and you’ve done nothing but be rude and insulting to us in return.

RHADL: (lowers magazine, a look of incredulous petulance on his young features, cigarette hanging from his mouth. Looks at Shyke for a moment, then peers over at the soup.) That chicken noodle?

SHYKE: With vegetables.

RHADL: (goes back to his magazine) I like clam chowder.

SHYKE: (annoyed) Well suit yourself, then. (Picks up the tray and turns around to make his way back out of the room.) But you might want to consider the fact that you’re still confined to quarters and I have far better things to do than bring you food.

RHADL: (snorts from behind magazine) Yeah, I’m sure. You’ve got a full day of mooning over the man-whore, darning socks, and being swishy. All hail Captain Butt Pirate, the hardest working steriotype in the service.

SHYKE: (has stopped with his back to the interior of the room)

RHALD: (cigarette abruptly goes out) Huh? (looks at it, confused. A shadow falls over the bed and he looks up to see a tidal wave of dirty clothing and nudie magazines looming over him.)

SHYKE: (closes the door) Impetuous child.

Shot of the hallway as Shyke leaves carrying the tray.

RHALD: (from in the room) AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH--!

SOUND FX: CRASH! Thump!

End Scene.

Int. shot of Lucius’s ship, a dimly-lit room with no windows and one heavily lockable door. CADNEY, in a restraining device with her hands behind her back, is on the floor with a man with spiked hair with black stripes, LUCIUS, standing off a ways.

CADNEY: (hautily) This pathetic plan of yours will never work, Luscious. Even as we speak, my people are on their way to rescue me. You might as well give up now and save your girly ass a whoppin’.

LUCIUS: For the last time, it’s Lu-cius!! And my ass is not girly, it’s as strong and masculine as the rest of me!

CADNEY: Uh-huh. Well you might want to change your shirt, then, ‘cause you’re looking a little perky there, if you know what I mean.

LUCIUS: (hops around in a little tantrum) That does it!! I’ll prove my manliness to you once and for all!! (runs off-panel)

There is the sound of the door opening and closing. Cadney sits in apathetic silence. There is the sound of the door opening and closing again and Lucius returns on pannel carrying a jar. He pauses a minute to catch his breath.

CADNEY: What’cha got there, sport?

LUCIUS: (trimphantly shoves jar in her face) HA! It’s the ultimate test of manhood! I’ll open this jar of pickles.... with my bare hands!! (begins trying to open the jar, with no success)

CADNEY: (cheerful) Don’t break a nail, now!

End Scene.

Int. shot of dark hallway. Lemon runs desperately, a pack of drooling fangirls at his heels. Ahead he spots an open elevator door and puts on a burst of speed to get to it. He skids inside and jabs at the button while watching the horde of women stampede closer.

LEMON: (to self) Come on, come on...!

ELEVATOR: Ding!

GIRL #1: (from other side of doors) He bit me!!

GIRL #2: (from other side of doors) Really?? You’re so lucky!

GIRL #3: (from other side of doors) Can I touch it??

LEMON: Whew! (slups against back wall and slides down to sit on floor)

ELEVATOR: (moving downward, then halting) Ding! (doors open to a new floor with a new dimly lit hallway)

Lemon pokes his head cautiously out of the elevator, checking both ways to make sure there were no lingering girls hiding anywhere. Sees none and steps out, hands in pockets, whistling a jaunty tune. Sees a figure at the end of the hallway and stops, squinting to see better in the gloom. Recognizes Vin, with her back to him, unaware of his presence.

LEMON: (thought) Vin! (evil smirk) Perfect.

ELEVATOR: Ding!

LEMON: (dreading what he’ll see, turns to see behind him) Oh no....

GIRLS: (in elevator) Lemon-samaaaaaaaa!

Cut to Vin

VIN: (turning to see what the noise is) What th--? Oof! (is jarred by something slamming into her torso)

LEMON: (on knees with his arms wrapped around her stomach, cowering) Savemesavemesavemesaveme....

GIRL: (off-panel) Hey!! You hag!

VIN: Excuse me?

LEMON: (gets an idea)

VIN: (to girls) Hey, don’t get the wrong idea, if you want him, be my gues--

LEMON: (suddenly standing up, still holding Vin and looking at her seductively) Oh, baby, let’s quit pretending. (dips Vin backward and kisses her passionately)

VIN: !! (arms flail wildly)

GIRLS: ... (stare in horror)

LEMON: (ends kiss and sets Vin upright) Vin?

VIN: (stunned) Wha?

LEMON: (cheerily) Gotta run, catch you later! (zooms off down the hallway)

VIN: (Stares in realization after him, then glances over to the sea of angry girls behind her. Starts running after him.)

GIRL #2: Get her!!

VIN: (yelling at Lemon ahead of her) You are so dead!!

End scene

Int. shot of Cadney’s control center. A light flicks on and off on a command center as a light chirping noise sounds. Shyke, wearing a torn, bloodstained apron and carrying a large piece of chewed-looking meat on the bone, rushes in looking frazzled and hits a button, calling an image up to the large screen.

SHYKE: Yes?

The young man onscreen seems somewhat distracted and begins talking without looking diractly at the screen.

DELONG: Hi, Cadney, I realize it’s been a while since I checked in with you, so I thought I’d-- oh. (Looks in surprise at Shyke) You’re not Cadney.

SHYKE: Not last time I checked, no. She’s not available right now, I’m afraid, but if you’d like me to deliver a message I’ll be more than happy to give it to her when she gets back.

DELONG: No, that’s all right, I was just checking in. Do you know where she is?

SHYKE: Well last I heard she’d been kidnapped by a fellow named "Lucius" whom she seemed to know from somewhere. (Delong looks alarmed at this) Don’t worry, Vin went after them and took Lemon along with her since he’s the one who built the ship. I’m sure they’ll be back fairly soon, Vin’s pretty efficient when she needs to be.

DELONG: (still seems concerned and now distracted again) Oh, yes, that’s good. Please let me know when she comes back, then. I have some business I have to attend to, please excuse me.

The moniter goes blank.

SHYKE: (heaves a sigh and picks up the mutilated meat as he leaves the room) All right, Tray, you can have the rest of this now, just don’t throw it at me this time.

TRAY: (off-panel) *snarl!!*

End Scene.

Int. shot of Lucius’s ship. Vin and Lemon run down a dark hallway persued by the pack of fangirls.

VIN: ...And one more thing! I swear to the Powers That Be that if you ever, EVER double-cross me like that again, I will be forced to break my vow of pascifism off in a bodily orafice and beat your ass down with the rest!

LEMON: (looks like he might cry) Okay, I get it, I’m sorry!

VIN: Now be useful and get us out of this mess!!

LEMON: (thinking) Well I think there’s a door just around this corner up here....

VIN: Then let’s GO!!

Vin again grabs Lemon by the collar, hauls him around the corner...

LEMON: But--!

...smashes the open button for the door, tosses him inside and closes the door behind them. She leans against the door with her eyes closed and tries to catch her breath while he, also breathing heavily, looks incredulously at her, then the door, and back again.

LEMON: How did you do that?

VIN: (eyes still closed) Do what?

LEMON: Open the door like that. It was set up so you had to have a passcard to get in.

VIN: (looks at him) Really?

LEMON: (puzzling to himself) The wiring system must’ve been faulty or something. Wow, talk about luck! (smiles at her)

CADNEY: (off-panel) Tell me about it.

Vin and Lemon both look over to where her voice came from. Cadney sits on the floor, her arms still fastened behind her back, wearing a look of terminal boredom coupled with annoyance. Lucius is contorted over a jar of pickles looking for all the world like he’s trying to give birth.

CADNEY: If one of you two can open a pickle jar you’d make my whole day.

LUCIUS: Don’t sass me, woman! (notices Lemon and Vin and forgets the jar) Oishii!! (points at Lemon)

LEMON: (waves) Heya, Luch, long time. Like the haircut, good choice.

VIN: (rolls her eyes) You two know each other. Why does that surprise me? I should know better. (strolls off-panel towards Cadney while Lucius advances menacingly on Lemon)

LUCIUS: Why are you here? I don’t have any business with you.

LEMON: Well, I’m here to get Cadney, actually, she owes me a lot of money and--

LUCIUS: (to Cadney) Don’t tell me he built your ship too.

CADNEY: (rubbing her newly freed wrists as Vin sheaths her sword and kicks the restraints aside) ‘Fraid so.

LUCIUS: Don’t pay him a cent.

CADNEY: Wasn’t planning on it.

LEMON: (looks hurt) Awww!

Cadney and Vin join the other two by the door.

CADNEY: Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a universe to get back to conquering.

LUCIUS: Oh Cadney, as much as it pains me to do this-- (he draws a blaster on them)-- you know I can’t let you leave yet.

CADNEY: (looks unimpressed) Vin.

VIN: (sighing heavily) There has to be another way out of this. Mr. Luscious--

LEMON: (whispers) Lucius.

VIN: --Lucius. I don’t know what Cadney did to you in the past but really, isn’t this a little extreme?

CADNEY: Vin, for pete’s sake, stop mediating and kick his ass so we can go home.

VIN: But--

CADNEY: (looks menacingly at her)

VIN: (looks pained and draws her sword) (to Lucius) I’m really sorry about this.

Vin then hits the open button for the door with the hilt of her sword. The door swishes open to reveal a hallway full of very irritated fangirls. Cadney stares in confusion, Vin grabs her and leaps back from the doorway, Lemon looks like the Grim Reaper appeared before him, and Lucius stared dumbfoundedly over at the only other male in the viscinity.

LUCIUS: You let them out?? What were you thinking?? They were in there for a reason!!

Lemon shrieks as the girls flood into the room, clutching, pawing, and molesting as much male flesh as they can manage, ending up in a giant dogpile on the two hapless men. Cadney and Vin edge carefully around the squirming pile and to the door.

LEMON: (struggling so that his head and an arm are free and reaches his hand toward Vin beseechingly) Please! Don’t leave me here!!

VIN: (smiles sweetly from the doorway) Ahhhh. I love to see instant Karma in action.

The door closes on Lemon’s stricken face as Vin’s laughter cackles in the background.

CADNEY: (musingly) You’ve got a real vindictive streak for someone who claims to be a pacifist, you know that?

VIN: (shrugging) Hey, he brought it on himself. Who am I to tamper with someone getting their comeuppance?

CADNEY: (looks down the hallway in front of them) Normally I’d agree with you, but...

Further shot of winding, dark, empty hallways.

CADNEY: (V.O.) ...do you know how to get out of here?

Outer shot of Lucius’s ship in space.

VIN: (V.O.) Crap.

End.